If Only For Love
by Moonlight-Priestess
Summary: Sakura's a rich noble girl, and Li is a peasant in a society where relationships between classes are practically unheard of. Can love survive the strictures of society? Set in France's past. R+R
1. Default Chapter

Author's Notes: I really, really like this fic. I was watching a movie when I decided to write it, that was 

really weird, but they all had neat costumes and ways of speaking. So I thought to myself, Anrui- do a fic 

about France. This fic takes place around the Revolution, but nothing solid with that has happened yet. I 

used the English names because they sound more like names you'd find in France. I mean, Tomoyo the 

French girl? Nah. I know I made her parents kind of mean, and that her father wouldn't hurt a fly. It's just 

part of the story, 'kay? I have to start with my classes soon and get a job (I've been so lazy), so I don't know 

how I'm going to be able to keep up with all my fics! My how I wish I had more time! Please read and 

review. I go around smiling like an idiot all day if I get two or three… I'll even take the worse insults you 

can throw at me as long as you're reviewing. CCS does not belong to me (if you haven't figured it out).

-Anrui, the priestess with too much to say. PS. I now accept anonymous reviews (I didn't know I didn't before, so bear with me)!

Sakura looked outside the window, while her mother Natasha lectured her. "You have a rebelliousness unfitting for a young French lady," Natasha continued softly, her voice never the less scolding. "Your father and I make these decisions for your own well-being."

Sakura turned from the window, "So you wish to choose my life for me! You wish to choose how I dress, and who I marry!"

Natasha stood from her chair, her skirts rustling as she glided across the polished floor. She lay a hand gently on her daughter's shoulder, "We have not even come to such decisions as husbands yet. You are but fifteen."

Sakura pulled away from her mother's hand, "Madison has already been married off at fifteen. How many years will you let me have before that is my fate too? One, three?"

"Sakura! Don't be so dramatic! It really is too much for me," she waved her fan gently at her face, "to have to deal with your notions of freedom. When we do decide to marry you, it will be so that you move up in the world and don't have to deal with the realities of poverty and work. You will simply have to be a good little wife and stay in the comfort of your home…"

"I don't want that!" Sakura yelled interrupting her, "I want no part of money! I do not care if I live amongst the rats in the gutter, so long as I am free to love whomever I choose!" She rushed out of the room, heels clicking on the floor.

Her steps slowed down as she left the room. Sakura gazed at herself in the large mirror outside. Her emerald eyes stared back at her, two curled strands of hair framing the delicate curves of her face. The rest was put up in the typical style that loosely hung down from her head until it came together in the back. Her dress was also quite common of the French nobility. A square-like cut surrounded by small lace, draping sleeves where lace (this kind longer and more intricate) also showed around the edges, and a small waist that emphasized how essential the corset was to the dresses design. The dress was a soft pink material, that simmered ever so slightly and looked dazzling as it fanned out in the back. Everyone told her that she was a beauty.

"Humph," she said to the mirror, "all the more reason to sell me off like some prized animal." She tossed her skirts behind her and started off from the mirror.

Aiden, her father, stopped her in the hall, "Why do you treat your mother with such impudence, child?"

Sakura could not answer her father surely, "I have no wish to anger you or mother. I simply do not want the life that you offer to me. I find it artificial."

"What is real then? The revolution that has been whispered in the streets? The lack of quality in the royal monarchy? Do you speak of those things as real? If you do, then you betray our entire family!"

"The nobility has no right to treat people as they do. They treat even their own sons and daughters in a manner that is unfitting of human beings. If revolution is what will bring about the change, then I shall support it!" Sakura winced as her father slapped her. He looked at her for a moment, as if disgusted, and then left her holding her cheek.

Her eyes watered, but she held back her tears. As soon as her father was out of sight, she went quietly out the door and stepped onto the street. Sakura walked resolutely away from her house, knowing that she shouldn't be out without an escort. She had to lift her skirts to keep them from the newly made mud and the puddles that were scattered around the street. Already her high boots were covered in dirt. She sniffed, slightly offended by the filth, but held her head up high.

"Surely you should not be out, Mademoiselle," a young peasant boy said politely, taking off his hat.

Sakura regarded him thoughtfully for a moment, "Are you ever unhappy?"

The boy looked surprised, "Me, Mademoiselle… never. Although I have to work, I dearly love my papa and brothers and sisters." He stepped back as if he had crossed some boundary by speaking to a noble, "I trust you are just as happy."

Sakura's eyes turned sad. "Here," she told the boy, tossing him a gold coin, "Buy you and your family something nice."

The boy's eyes grew wide, and he bowed, "Thank you, Mademoiselle. Truly you must be a saint." He scrambled quickly off with the coin, as if to spend it before it became less real. She stood for a minute watching him leave.

Sakura started to continue down the lane when she heard shouting behind her. "Stop him," a burly man yelled from a distance.

Sakura turned to see what it was about and was knocked to the ground. She looked up and froze as her eyes met with a pair of gorgeous brown ones. He was above her, though elevated because he had landed on his hands which were on either of her sides. His breathing was heavy from the running. "Please get off of me, Monsieur," she demanded.

He got up, and Sakura held out her hand to be lifted from the street. He glanced quickly from the fallen woman to the angry man who was quickly approaching and then sighed. He grabbed her hand and helped her to her feet. Once up, Sakura grabbed his sleeve and pulled him behind her. "Why do you chase this man?" she questioned the one who had just reached them.

"I saw him take a loaf of bread," he pointed a finger, but then backed off as Sakura glared at him.

"And what is the going price of bread?" Sakura asked. The man mumbled a price, and she handed him two coins, "This should take care of your inconvenience. Now leave my sight or I shall tell the authorities that you decided to harass a noble woman in the streets."

The man was apparently still angry, but her last words had put fear in his eyes. "Go.. good day," he stuttered, frightened, before going off the way he came.

"Thank you," the man behind her said, somewhat hesitantly.

Sakura turned to him, "If you would give me your name, I would consider the money half paid."

"Li Syaoran," he told her, "I want you to know that I wouldn't…"

She put a gloved finger to his mouth, "You do know that you owe a debt to a noble now."

"Yes, Mademoiselle, but I do not know what I have to offer," Li looked down, "I am after all just a peasant…"

Sakura silenced him again, "I will have no talk of classes anymore, and my name is Sakura. I expect you to address me as such." She took him by the hand, "I have need of someone to care for my horse, so you can work in the stables and have a room in our house until I consider that the debt has been paid. Is that alright?"

"I don't think I'm in any position to argue. I don't have a family to take care of, and you are offering me better than I can get around here," there was a fiercer quality to his voice as he continued, "But if you think you own me because of a…"

Sakura laughed, "If you think I want to own you, you must have been drinking too much wine." She paused as she noticed he was staring at her. Sakura felt oddly flustered by it. "What?" she asked, blinking a few times.

"I've never known anyone of the higher class to look at me before. It's a little unnerving."

"I'm not what you would call your average French girl or your average French noble…"

"I would wish that you call me Li," he requested.

She patted his hand, "Alright, Li." Sakura wished she could stop the fluttering of her heart. It set her a little off balance. She looked around. The night had already begun to set in, and the sun was barely showing on the horizon. What little people had been out when she had first emerged at the beginning of dusk were tucked away in their houses. She shivered a little, her dress soaked with the water from when she had been pushed.

Doing something unbefitting of her status, she moved over against him, "Put your arm around me please. It's very cold." Li did as he was told, and Sakura smiled, glad to have the warmth. Her father would have a fit, she thought to herself, to see her walking after dark like this with a man. She leaned against him to ward off the growing coldness of the night air and watched her breath leave in little puffs of smoke. Her skirts trailed behind her as she walked, hopelessly muddy. 

She stopped him with a hand as they reached her house. "Wait here," she told him before slipping quietly in. "Genevieve…" she whispered into the darkness of the house, "Genevieve…"

The maid appeared before her, "Yes, Mademoiselle?"

"Prepare a room in the guest quarters and place some of my brother's old clothes in it. I am to keep a temporary servant there for now."

The maid nodded at the instructions and curtsied, "As you wish." Genevieve walked back off into the darkness.

Sakura waved Li to the door, "Come. We don't have all night." Li hurried up to the door, glad to get away from the cold. Sakura pointed down a hallway, "Go down there and enter the tenth door on your right. Be careful not to make any noise. My parents are most likely asleep. For some reason, Sakura felt a loss as he too disappeared into the darkness. She shook it off and walked quickly towards her room.

"And where were you," Aiden asked, "When you went off by yourself."

"I was just going to the market, Papa," she answered softly, knowing it wasn't enough.

"Do you think that you can do whatever you want while you're under my roof?"

"No, Papa."

He took her wrist roughly, "Don't you ever do anything like that again! You're mother's been in a faint ever since we found you missing."

Her voice was the only thing to betray she was crying, "I won't, just let go of my wrist. You're hurting me."

Aiden sighed and let her go. His voice had a chill to it, "Sometimes, child, I wonder about you…" He left it at that, and Sakura listened as his footsteps sounded angrily down the hall.

-----

Sakura knocked lightly on his door in the early morning light. It was still dark enough that she needed a candle to make her way through the house. She heard a muffled groan and then a thump. "Are you alright?" she whispered.

"Fine," Li replied from the other side. Sakura waited patiently in the hall, at odd intervals tapping her foot on the floor. She sighed heavily when he finally emerged.

"You look good," she told him, stepping back to take his whole appearance in, "I'm just glad we had something to put you in."

He yawned tiredly and then replied, "You didn't have to give me anything."

"It was no trouble, Li. I swear my family would have just made them into cloths. Now if you'd follow me…" she led him down the halls and back into the foyer. Sakura shuddered as the shadows danced about on the walls like ghosts.

Li noticed and put a hand on her shoulder, "There's only one kind of ghosts I believe in, and they're called memories. The other kind doesn't exist, or if they did, I don't think they'd be chasing innocent girls in their houses." Sakura nodded only, half assured and stepped out into the cool morning air.

"Stay close to me," she instructed trying to gaze past the heavy fog. Li put a hand on her arm. Sakura's back tensed, and she wondered why that simple gesture sent shivers up her spine.

The stables weren't far from the house, but they were barely visible in the thin light that managed to make it through the heavy air. Sakura unlocked the door, wrapping her shawl closer, and threw open the door. A few of the horses neighed lightly at the intrusion, tossing their heads and one or two stamping their hoofs. Li stepped in slowly, looking around at the wooden rafters, the hay in the loft, and the arrangement of the horse equipment.

Sakura stepped forward and lay her hand gently on the muzzle of a frosty white horse. "This is Claire," she told him, affectionately stroking the animal.

"You care a lot for animals," Li observed as he watched her. "I think that shows a lot of good character."

Her cheeks colored, "Mostly just Claire. There are not many other tame animals I have come across."

"Does it bother you to be conversing with a peasant?" he asked frowning.

"No," she paused, "I…" I just get so nervous around you, she finished in her head. Sakura just stood there, unable to answer.

Li seemed to take it the wrong way. He turned away and started working without another word. "Li," she pleaded walking over to him, "Please don't get mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you," he answered flatly without glancing up.

"Look at me when I'm speaking to you!" Sakura took a step forward as Li got up and turned around. They were close enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek. "You're just so confusing," she whispered breathlessly. He leaned down and kissed her. She closed her eyes, her thoughts going to fast for her to catch, and couldn't respond to his soft caressing of her mouth. When he finished, she just hung there for a moment and then covered her mouth with her hand. Sakura ran out with a soft cry, less able to think than before. 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Hi peeps! Sorry for the delay, though I know this is not one of my highest rated stories 

(you could change that ya know!). Please do not point out how historical inaccurate this is, because I'm so 

painfully aware of it myself. You try doing the research and then you can complain. I should, and I mean 

might, be getting the sequel to The Emperor and I out by the end of August, but I'm so busy. Not much 

more to say. As always, CCS no belong to me, belong to CLAMP, so read, enjoy, and know I'm too lazy to 

make up my own characters! (Plus I love CCS!). -Anrui

Sakura watched him secretly from a distance and touched her mouth lightly. Gathering her courage, she stepped forward slowly, only the soft crunch of the hay beneath her boots betraying her. He turned to her, and she stopped, gazing at him solemnly. "I…I," Sakura bit her lip and looked down, "I do not know what to say to you."

"Say nothing," his voice was flat, "There is nothing to say."

"How can you say that?" she asked distraught, "I have only known you for yet a day, and already I feel as if… as if my heart would break without you."

Li moved towards her and brought her head up with a finger, "You know as well as I do that this wouldn't be good for either of us. It is but yet a day. Give it another and then another after that. Make sure that you'd be willing to lose everything you have before you speak to me like that. If given the chance I would take you, and in that case it's best not to offer…" He kissed her, more lightly than before, and then turned to go back to his work.

Sakura stared after him dazed. She couldn't help but stand there silent as what he said sunk in. Her father would never forgive her the love of someone from the lower class. There were, too, stories of people who ruin each other, not for love, but for want of something they couldn't have. But she felt so instinctively drawn to him…

Shaking her head, she took up a brush and gently stroked Claire's snow white fur. "I suppose… I suppose I need know you if such a decision were to be reached… if I were to give up my days unto pondering. I wish that I might sleep again and fear that I might not."

"Fine then. What do you wish to know?" Li asked, not even glancing up.

"What of your family?"

"My mother went to live with her brother when my father was put into prison. My uncle was a cruel man, and I took his abuse until I couldn't bear it anymore. I packed up, left, and ended up in the streets of the city. My poverty, though, is not that uncommon," he finally met her eyes, "I've seen many things in the streets of Paris that are unfit to tell a lady."

She shuddered but asked innocently, "Are there that many in such straits?"

Li sighed, "Yes."

Sakura's hand paused its brushing. "How is it?" she whispered, "That I could have so much, when there are so many with none? I would that the money was spread out equally, so that I should not have more than I deserve as I do now." She put her head in her hands, covering her face, "I've said too much. Father would have me for such words." Li went over and held her tightly as she fought the tears in her eyes, "I am no better off than they are. I shall be sold to some old man with enough money and spend my time unable to do anything but sit in a chair wasting my life away. Is there any more misery in being poor than that?"

"You do not know of poverty. Of being hungry for days and then when you finally get something to eat it is not even fit for dogs. You've not seen the little children working so that their parents can simply get by and the people that would lick wine out of the gutter if they found it there. I had always thought it was better to be rich, but I guess that's not always the case," He played with one of the strands of hair framing her face, "If I could make it better I would."

Trying to be brave, she answered, "I would that I could make things better for you." Sakura's eyes were soft as she looked up and laid a hand on his cheek, "More than anything."

"Sakura," her father called from outside, "You need to come in. We have a visitor."

She pulled reluctantly away from Li, "Coming Papa!"

Aiden was waiting at the door for her, "Why were you not in the house? You're a lady, not a mouse to hide in the barn."

"I was just settling in a new servant," Sakura told him quietly, "It is nothing much."

Aiden took her hand, "Sakura, do not be angry for the way I have acted with you. You are my daughter, and I love you, but I simply can't abide by the behavior you've been exhibiting lately."

Sakura yanked her hand away from him and turned back to the house, "I understand, Papa." Her voice was cold, and she left him standing there as she entered the foyer. Sakura kept her features unnaturally calm as she glided down the hallway. It was a far cry from the woman she had been a minute ago, whose composure was lost upon her tumultuous heart. She was again a noble woman, "Genevieve, fetch me the new dress I got last week at the market. I need to prepare before I am presented to guest."

The maid, who had been on her way to hang the laundry to dry, stopped and curtsied to her mistress, "As you wish, Mademoiselle."

Sakura listened to the door shut as her father entered, and she smiled as a gleam came into her eyes, "Never mind that, Genevieve. I shall go in like this."

"But… but Mademoiselle!" the maid stuttered, "Your father shall throw a fit!"

"Let him," she brushed a piece of hay off her skirt, "It is nothing I have not seen before."

In the room where her mother was waiting for her, Sakura spotted a young, silver-haired man. Natasha stood as her daughter entered, a disappointed look crossing her face at her appearance, and then said softly, "This is Julian Star, a friend of your father's."

Sakura gazed upon this man for a moment. "I am really pleased to meet your acquaintance," Julian said with the tints of another accent in his voice. She smiled, liking the man despite herself.

"Julian trades with the Americas," Natasha explained. Her fan darted to and fro in front of her face, "His father was a respectable member of the clergy before he passed away."

"Did you hear of the Bastille being stormed the night before?" Julian inquired, "It was heard to be quite messy. Many fear it is a true start to the Revolution that has been afoot."

Natasha laughed uneasily, "That is all such rubbish, and besides, we women really don't mess with those matters."

"It is a pity," Sakura interrupted, turning to face Julian, "That the present system can not be abolished without bloodshed…" Natasha turned pale and drooped down to her chair. At that moment, Aiden stepped in pausing all conversation.

Aiden put his hands behind his back, "So what, pray, have I missed since my absence."

Julian scanned the room and then rested his eyes on some far off point, "Your daughter was just expressing her wish for no violence."

"Why act so coy then? It is a natural tendency…"

Natasha stood up, "She also has expressed her support of a revolution."

Aiden gave his daughter a cold glance, "I see…" He stepped over and took her roughly by the arm, "If you would please excuse me, Monsieur Star, I request a moment to speak with my child."

Julian jumped to his feet, "I meant the girl no trouble!"

Aiden shook his head, "It is not you who brings her trouble. She finds enough of it on her own." With that he pulled Sakura roughly into the hall. She feel upon the floor, supported by only her hands. "Why are you so set upon disobeying me!?!" His voice echoed across the hall.

"I only speak of the truth…" she stopped as he threw a vase to the ground just beyond her.

"Would you stop it with your truths, Sakura? Are you God to know such things as truth? You are but a young lady, and just what do you think that you know of the world? Have you seen anything beyond this city, beyond this country? Do you think that the bourgeoisie could keep you safe from the cruel hands of the British without the upper class? Or do you harbor the opinion that the peasants could?"

"The Americans were not rich, and yet they won their independence," Sakura defended.

"Not many wars turn towards the favor of the under-advantaged. The country of France was set up for the people's good before they started demanding bread and all that sort. It is not our fault that they cannot take care of themselves. Yet look what is happening around us with all these councils… it will all lead to naught. Your precious revolution, Sakura, would take everything we have! Can you not forget it for that?" Aiden appeared almost exhausted now, and his voice was almost pleading.

Sakura lifted herself from the floor with as much dignity as she could muster, "And what is my life for freedom?"

Aiden remained silent and did not bother to look at her as he made his way back to their guest. She stared after him, wondering why that hurt more than all his harsh words.

-----

Sakura walked out again in the dimming light of dusk and entered the stables once again, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders to protect her from the cold. Li walked out to meet her, his features half hidden by the thick shadows. She fell against him weeping, "Why does everything hurt so much?"

He remained silent, placing a arm firmly around her. When Sakura looked up into his eyes he whispered, "I don't know."

She stood up on the tips of her toes and kissed him softly, feeling him loosen up. "I love you, Li, I love you. It wouldn't matter if I were poor or the whole world were to fall on my head, I love you," Sakura professed as they parted, "I would give up everything for you. Compared to you it is nothing at all…"

He put a finger to her mouth, "Do not talk of love when all you feel is pain. I am not leaving until you tell me. I will wait, and then someday, when I believe that you have made your decision on not just one moment, but the careful contemplation of many, then I will let you have me completely. I have not felt for anyone in my whole life the way I feel for you. Despite the short time I've known you, I care for you to much to do anything that might harm you. Sakura, you say what you feel, but I think that your life and your parents aren't as bad as you think."

She stepped back, "Do you think then that I am just a silly girl?"

"I did not say that."

"Then what did you mean? Are all decisions to be thoughts about over and over until none of it makes any sense any more? What if I want now, instead of tomorrow or the day after that? Would you deny me the days that I could have with you because you think that it would protect me?" Sakura shook her head as he came closer, "I know I shouldn't get close to you! But it doesn't matter, I am! I wonder if I ever wasn't! I'd give up anything for you! Anything! Even the money or the servants or the elaborate dresses…" She paused for a moment as wiped the tears from her eyes, "Even the Revolution that has been so long in coming. I would give up the welfare of all of France for you."

Li remained silent for a moment and asked softly, "What are the dangers of such a love that can overtake a person this easily?"

The question caught her off-guard, and she calmed down enough to answer, "No more than the fear of loosing it."

He pulled her close and delicately brushed her lips before taking her mouth in a rough kiss. When she finally pulled away to get her breath, he told her, "It's not something you loose." Then Li left her standing on the street as he walked towards the house. 


End file.
